I was so ready for college but then my dad was diagnosed. Everyone here seems so carefree and all they do is have fun. I know that’s probably not the case for everyone but I always feel so distant from everyone else.
I have really great friends here but I keep avoiding going out. I’m afraid to drink too much and get emotional. I know that I feel sad and am in pain all the time over my dad’s disease but I’m scared of not being able to control when I express or expose those feelings. At the same time, I want to have fun every once and a while and cut loose.
I totally get where you’re coming from. My dad was diagnosed just before I left and I felt disconnected as well. My suggestion is to trust your gut and not push yourself. If you feel like going out and drinking, go for it! If not, I would hope your friends wouldn’t judge you. If they do, they aren’t your real friends and I promise you will find better ones. The friends I first made in college were not the ones I ended up with!
I would say definitely don’t push yourself. I actually tried to and found myself leaving parties to go home and break down. At the same time, I had a friend who found that it was helpful to go out and have fun and didn’t have any emotional breakdowns (that I know of) from it! Trust your gut, friend!
Just wanted to chime in and say that I agree with what everyone said above. Don’t worry about how people view you. If they judge you they aren’t worth it because they have no idea what you’re going through