Family is "less" close after diagnosis?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Nikkixo Nikkixo 1 year, 11 months ago.

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  • #351
    Profile photo of Annienonymous
    Annienonymous
    Participant

    Hi everyone,
    Not really sure how to start this off as it’s my first post. A little bit about me: my father was recently diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. My family took the news very hard and we are all trying to be as positive as we can. I have two siblings and each of us seems to need/want different things while trying to cope. My sister doesn’t want to talk about it or confront and my brother seems to be naive with regards to how bad a situation this is. We are all trying so hard to be normal, but in some ways I feel we’ve become less close as a family. It feels like we can’t talk about anything anymore. Has anyone else felt like this?

    #355
    Profile photo of geekgirl231
    geekgirl231
    Participant

    When my family was going through it we all struggled with how to act and what to say. As much as I wanted to open up to my sister about my worry and anxiety, I felt that I didn’t have a right to place my pain ahead of hers. It felt selfish to focus on myself, my needs, and my feelings when I wasn’t even the sick one.

    #360
    Profile photo of Nikkixo
    Nikkixo
    Participant

    This is one of the worst parts of my mom’s illness. I feel like we all want so badly to make the most of every moment but struggle with what that mentality suggests about our thoughts on their health. I feel like if I act too caring, concerned, attentive, it’s awkward because I am showing my mom that I am not she will fight this, almost like I’m giving up. I totally get what geekgirl231 said. I definitely felt selfish when I got upset with the situation. Even though we aren’t the sick ones, doesn’t mean cancer doesn’t affect us.

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