Not really sure how to start this off as it’s my first post. A little bit about me: my father was recently diagnosed with late stage lung cancer. My family took the news very hard and we are all trying to be as positive as we can. I have two siblings and each of us seems to need/want different things while trying to cope. My sister doesn’t want to talk about it or confront and my brother seems to be naive with regards to how bad a situation this is. We are all trying so hard to be normal, but in some ways I feel we’ve become less close as a family. It feels like we can’t talk about anything anymore. Has anyone else felt like this?
When my family was going through it we all struggled with how to act and what to say. As much as I wanted to open up to my sister about my worry and anxiety, I felt that I didn’t have a right to place my pain ahead of hers. It felt selfish to focus on myself, my needs, and my feelings when I wasn’t even the sick one.
This is one of the worst parts of my mom’s illness. I feel like we all want so badly to make the most of every moment but struggle with what that mentality suggests about our thoughts on their health. I feel like if I act too caring, concerned, attentive, it’s awkward because I am showing my mom that I am not she will fight this, almost like I’m giving up. I totally get what geekgirl231 said. I definitely felt selfish when I got upset with the situation. Even though we aren’t the sick ones, doesn’t mean cancer doesn’t affect us.