I don’t know what to do. I love my father and I want to spend time with him but I find myself becoming more and more distant and shutting him out. Has anyone else done this? I feel so terrible about sometimes ignoring everything. I guess I feel like if I spend time with him I’ll just lose it. But I know that if I don’t spend more time with him there is a good chance I might regret it.
As someone who did try to spend as much time as possible with my dad, obsessively check in, try too hard, etc. even I had moments (days, weeks) where I couldn’t cope and ignored him (not so much that he tried to reach out and I said no but just didn’t make an effort). Especially when he got very sick. It physically hurt to see him like that. And while I am ashamed of that, I do think it is human nature and that these things are so very complicated and difficult. Don’t beat yourself up. You are cognizant of it and you feel guilty about. Push through it, spend time with him, and I promise you will never regret it! At the same time, everyone needs a chance to check out mentally with this situation. Just make sure you don’t check out too long.
i totally understand what you mean, man. it can be so uncomfortable spending time with them because you don’t want to talk about the reality yet is there a way to really avoid it? try and be there tho bc if you dont because you were scared you could really come to regret it. yet if it’s truly too uncomfortable dont beat yourself up bc im sure your dad would understand. you’re not alone! im still trying to figure it out too.