Being distant

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of joshguy929 joshguy929 2 years ago.

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  • #384
    Profile photo of ledzep
    ledzep
    Participant

    guys,

    I don’t know what to do. I love my father and I want to spend time with him but I find myself becoming more and more distant and shutting him out. Has anyone else done this? I feel so terrible about sometimes ignoring everything. I guess I feel like if I spend time with him I’ll just lose it. But I know that if I don’t spend more time with him there is a good chance I might regret it.

    #386
    Profile photo of jsk94
    jsk94
    Participant

    You’re not alone. I am the same way with my dad sometimes. Its just so hard to see him and not wonder how long I might have left.

    #395
    Profile photo of Rainbowfish
    Rainbowfish
    Participant

    As someone who did try to spend as much time as possible with my dad, obsessively check in, try too hard, etc. even I had moments (days, weeks) where I couldn’t cope and ignored him (not so much that he tried to reach out and I said no but just didn’t make an effort). Especially when he got very sick. It physically hurt to see him like that. And while I am ashamed of that, I do think it is human nature and that these things are so very complicated and difficult. Don’t beat yourself up. You are cognizant of it and you feel guilty about. Push through it, spend time with him, and I promise you will never regret it! At the same time, everyone needs a chance to check out mentally with this situation. Just make sure you don’t check out too long.

    #400
    Profile photo of joshguy929
    joshguy929
    Participant

    i totally understand what you mean, man. it can be so uncomfortable spending time with them because you don’t want to talk about the reality yet is there a way to really avoid it? try and be there tho bc if you dont because you were scared you could really come to regret it. yet if it’s truly too uncomfortable dont beat yourself up bc im sure your dad would understand. you’re not alone! im still trying to figure it out too.

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