i really truly hope that you forgive yourself for this. I remember when my mom was in what I thought was remission I forgot her birthday. I called her up because I was worried about an exam and she had to remind me. I felt terrible. I felt even worse when a few weeks later (after finals) she told me that the cancer had spread and it was terminal. But I knew she didn’t care about that, that it was something that I would beat myself up for which is not what she wanted. You’re a human being, you’re not always going to be perfect, especially in the worst and most shocking situations.