Hey nat nat, I know right now you’re lost and trying to figure out what life is going to be like from now one, but I promise it gets better. I am never going to say you won’t hurt but you will find happiness again, you will laugh again, and you will live your life.
I don’t think anyone could ever truly be prepared for the loss of such an important person in their life. Don’t beat yourself up for it.
I personally went back because I wasn’t sure what I would do sitting at home. I know its scary, and i won’t lie, the initial return was sucky. Everyone knew so I always got that “look” of pity but after a while it goes away. I think school helped me to have something familiar and safe and also took my mind off of it (as much as anything can).
At the end of the day, you should do whatever you think will make you feel best. Keep us posted on your decision!