First, I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad a few months ago as well and each day is different. Some days are battles and others I feel fine. I am not an expert and I only know how I feel but I just try to let it all happen. have you considered maybe talking to a therapist? I know that’s not for everyone but I’ve started since my dad passed and while it doesn’t make everything magically go away, it let’s me talk about it. And while I may be quiet about it to my friends and family, for some reason as soon as I sit down the session flies by. Stay strong – you have survived this horribleness and don’t forget what your mom wants for you!